Frequently asked questions

Intimacy Coaching

Q: are we a good fit to work together?

A: Before booking a paid session, I ask that you schedule a free consultation and fill out my intake form so I can make sure I feel that I have the correct qualifications, tools and practices to support you. This type of coaching is intimate and powerful healing work, it’s important to feel safe with the person facilitating the space. I love working with dedicated, loving and curious people seeking intimacy coaching for any number of reasons, (including but not limited to the benefits listed at the bottom of this page.)

I am absolutely open to working with people of all genders, sizes, ages, abilities, sexual orientations and backgrounds. That being said, I am a white, cisgender, queer, neurodivergent woman so I’m more than happy to provide referrals for anyone seeking coaching from someone who specializes in working with BIPOC folks! Feeling safe and seen is so important!

Because of my personal journey, I feel especially called to work with people recovering from spiritual or sexual trauma, disordered eating and body dysmorphia, and grief or loss (alongside their therapist, of course). Many of my clients find me when they are going through big life transitions such as trying to date or experience intimacy after a separation or death of their partner, or recovering from chronic stress, anxiety and burn out.

Q: Should I hire you as a coach if I don’t have any current/prior therapy experience?

A: My goal as a coach is to provide active listening, create a safe and non-judgmental space, offer my reflection and consistently point you back to your own power and wisdom. I believe that within your body lies all of the answers and fulfillment you’ve been searching for, sometimes you just need support and tools to help you reconnect to your voice and intuition, but I am not a licensed therapist. Therapy is often used to dive deeply into past wounding in order to heal, process or diagnose. Because trauma is stored in the physical body and nervous system, it is not uncommon to experience deep emotional releases when practicing somatic healing methods.

Another huge difference between the type of work I do versus traditional therapy is the difference in boundaries. My certifications and role working with clients allows for more open sharing about my personal experiences as well as more direct intimacy when deemed appropriate and consented to by the client. Many clients seek this type of coaching work when they are struggling to connect to people in their lives, so I having a professional who is able to practice connection exercises with can help ease anxiety when with a potential partner. My certification also allows for consensual, non-sexual touch such as energy healing, sensate focus exercises, etc. Clients are required to sign a waiver consenting to touch, however there is not genital touch, all sessions are fully clothed and I am always checking in and encouraging them to practice honoring their needs and boundaries moment to moment.

My sessions and workshops are curated with the intention of creating trauma-informed spaces should painful emotions arise or erupt, but our main focus is expanding our pleasure consciousness and allowing healing to happen slowly and gently. Coaching is for those who feel they have worked through their trauma enough that they have the stability and resources to process any emotions that may arise during somatic healing or breath work sessions. That being said, somatic healing practices can be an amazing resources to utilize in tandem with traditional therapies. I am happy to work alongside other body workers, healing practitioners, doctors or therapists to help support you.

In short, yes, it’s okay to hire me for intimacy coaching if you are not currently seeing a therapist, however if you begin releasing an overwhelming amount of emotions and it’s too much to for you to process, I will be glad to help you find trauma therapists who can help you!

Q: I want to explore but my partner would never be into it/ I don’t have a partner. what should i do?

A: I currently only work 1:1, but have referrals if you are a couple looking for support!

In general, I know this can be a very tricky issue to navigate within a partnership, however even when working with couples I always emphasize the importance of cultivating each individual’s own personal practice. The truth is, we can only be as vulnerable, intimate and connected to another person as we are within ourselves, so I would encourage you to begin with your own solo tantric journey.

The same goes for anyone not in a partnership. There is nothing more incredible and fulfilling than finding deep union and confidence within the Self regardless of relationship status. As beautiful as it is to share intimacy with a lover, it is inherently a deep and personal journey between the individual and their own body and soul. Chances are, people around you may begin to notice that you have more vitality, radiance and carry an inspiring creative presence and may become curious or ask you questions or show interest in your practice.

What I DO NOT recommend is trying to convince anyone to use these tools or practices if they aren’t interested or make any kind of ultimatums or “compromises” when it comes to couple’s work - it has to be a mutual desire to grow and expand together and as individuals.

Q: I never received a real sexual education and don’t know much about genital anatomy or how to pleasure my own body/my partner’s body. Will you cover this?

A: As a certified Sexologist I am happy to teach you or give you a refresher’s course on genital anatomy. Knowledge is power - if you don’t know your body’s systems or pleasure potential how are you supposed to know where to start? Remember you’re not alone, so many people grew up with zero sex ed or highly misinformed sex ed that was often swayed by shame-based religious dogma. I know so many people who learned about sexuality through pornography or had parents who never told them much of anything. It’s never too late to begin exploring your body!

Q: Will THE TOOLS YOU HAVE help heal Pelvic/Vaginal pain or sexual dysfunction?

A: Somatic practices can help relieve some pain, irritation, and sexual dysfunction (such as impotence or ED, early ejaculation, incontinence, anorgasmia, etc,) however it’s important to seek professional medical advice BEFORE seeking coaching to rule out any serious medical conditions. Trauma can often manifest at physical symptoms that can be relieved with somatic practices, but it’s always good to know that your pain and sexual dysfunction aren’t a sign of a serious health issue.

Q: How do you define trauma?

A: I believe that trauma is any experience that causes your body and nervous system distress that isn’t able to be processed and released from the body through the completion of the natural stress cycle. There are traumatic experiences such as abuse or sexual assault, severe eating disorders, death of a loved one, war or acts of violence, serious accidents or surgeries, etc, which can be both acute or chronic.

There are also developmental traumas which may seem less obvious but these cumulative traumas can build up in the body slowly or repeatedly over time. Stressors such as allowing someone to penetrate you before your thoroughly aroused, having sex out of duty rather than your own pleasure, religious indoctrination (sometimes this can be a severe chronic trauma as well depending on the severity!), not feeling understood by or not receiving emotional connection with loved ones, chronic dieting or body shame, financial stress, being bullied, etc.

Depending on the individual’s sensitivity and ability to process the distress in the moment determines whether or not the trauma gets frozen or stuck in the tissues of the body or if it’s able to be released. Because everyone is wired and conditioned differently, everyone responds to distress differently. What may be life-shattering for one person, may not impact someone else to the same level. The reason this is important to know is because both types of trauma can build up in the body and eventually manifest themselves as physical disease, discomfort, chronic stress or body pain, anxiety, depression and other physical/mental/emotional ailments and imbalances. Through somatic healing practices we can allow the body to process and release the blockages in our fascia and tissues, creating more openness, peace, pleasure and grounding.

Q: How old do you have to be to book a coaching session?

A: I require my clients to be at least 18 years old or have a signed consent form from their legal guardian. Many of these practices would have been AMAZING to know while I was going through my adolescent years and I’m happy to make sessions age appropriate for younger clients.

Miscellaneous

Q: What are your pronouns?

A: She/Her, but I’m not offended by They/Them or other gender neutral language.

Q: is your approach to coaching and healing haes + body positive/Body neutral?

A: Yes! The HAES (Health at Every Size) and Body positive/Body neutrality movements have been radical in my own healing journey. My personal approach to all of the tools I share is with the philosophy that no matter what a person’s size, how their body functions and whether or not they love the way their body looks: they are deserving of pleasure, respect and the right to pursue health in whatever manor they choose. It is possible to pursue healthy habits and invest in self-care and establish connection to your body without intentionally shrinking your it’s size. I do teach some gentle movement practices but am happy to adjust my offerings to meet the needs of my clients.

Q: What forms of payment do you accept?

A: Venmo, Zelle and Cash

Q: What is your cancellation and refund Policy for sessions?

A: Payment for all sessions is made at the time of booking to secure your appointment. If you cancel within 36 hours of your appointment you will receive a full refund. If you cancel within 24 hours you will receive a 50% refund. If you need to reschedule I ask for at least 24 hours notice to avoid additional fees. If you reschedule after the 24 hour period you will be charged $50. If you book a package and do not use all of your sessions within 90 days, you will not be refunded. All of the fees I collect go into a scholarship fund to help support people who do not have the financial resources to afford sessions and workshops. All sales are final.

Q: I CAME HERE LOOKING FOR YOUR EMBODIMENT SESSIONS (BODY AFFIRMING-BOUDOIR PHOTOSHOOTS.) WHERE CAN I FIND MORE INFO?

A: I recently migrated all of my photo work to another website, you can click here for my photography portfolio or contact me at hello@mackenseyalexander.com for a full portrait guide.

DEATH DOULA, GRIEF COMPANIONSHIP, AND CEREMONY OFFICIATING COMING SOON!