Human beings are hardwired for connection - however - connection is NOT the same thing as attachment or expectation.

Often times when we are feeling low or disconnected from ourselves, it is easy to project our unconscious expectations or frustrations onto our partners, family or intimate friendships.

Perhaps we believe that they are the ones who aren’t doing enough to meet our needs and are therefore responsible for our unhappiness, (obviously, in some cases there may be some truth to this and we might need to assert boundaries or have a conversation about trying to create more balance in the relationship...) or that they should know us well enough to know what we need in every moment without us having to express it. It is unfair to expect anyone to be a mind reader or to put the responsibility of our own emotional state on the shoulders of other people.

Before bringing up our needs to another, it’s important that we are able to self-examine and decipher what those needs are and if there are any strategies for getting them met that doesn’t require someone else’s attention, permission or validation.

Being able to identify our needs can be challenging if we were raised in an environment that taught us that having needs is selfish or unimportant, but in reality, every action we take is an attempt to meet our own needs whether we are aware of it or not.

So of course, it’s wonderful to be able to have dependable and supportive relationships with people we can cultivate connection with, but ultimately our ability to be deeply connected with others is only possible when we can be deeply rooted within ourselves.

How can you show up for yourself today? How can you carve out time to meet your needs for pleasure and connection?